The Astronautilia (Czech: Hvězdoplavba; full title in Greek: Ποιητοῦ ἀδήλου ΑΣΤΡΟΝΑΥΤΙΛΙΑ ἢ ἡ Μικροοδυσσεία ἡ κοσμική; i.e. "An unknown poet's Starvoyage, or the Cosmic Micro-Odyssey") is the magnum opus, written in 1994 under the hellenised pseudonym Ἰωάννης Πυρεῖα, of Czech poet and writer Jan Křesadlo, one of the most unusual works of twentieth-century literature.
[3] Aside from the science fiction and epic poem aspects, the postmodern playfulness of the plot itself is underlined by the Czech language Prologue (see part translation)[4] in Karel Čapek's mystification style.
The plot is divided according to the Greek alphabet into 24 books,[5] each typically a standalone tale on some planet akin to the television series Star Trek, which are summarised below.
The cosmos-observing sheep is kidnapped by a villain called Mandys, and pursued by a rapid reaction commando force, whose captain is called Oudeis (Οὐδείς, "Nobody"), following the example of Captain Nemo (Νήμω καπιτᾶνος), as well as the Odyssey's original hero, Odysses, who went by the name Outis (Οὖτις, "Noman, Nobody"), to fool the Cyclops Polyphemus.
Their king explains that the hydraulic device was designed to govern their lives, but, blocked with seaweed, it broke, demanding them do evil and split their society in two.
The men flee to their ship and begsto leave, but Oudeis with two others goes back out and discovers that short supply of water on the planet makes the creatures hostile.
A friendly group of men wearing bagpipes on their backs move towards the ship, asking them to join them for a feast, meeting the King and eating in zero-gravity.
The King explains that two races of men, having made peace, built the bar to unite the two worlds and set the dogs and cats against each other for entertainment, but they rebelled and drove them inside the planet.
The crew boards Tolma and chase Mandys in the cosmos for nine days, and on the tenth, passing by a planet, are intercepted by the locals and forced to land.
The army approaches the city and the women fire: the robots, including Ivo, march forward and begin to disintegrate them, but are badly damaged.
They interrogate the Queen, who explains she left their former city for the mountains and bred their Fake-Dogs to be aggressive for sport, which they decided to set on the men for entertainment.
They land on another whose air is toxic and see a lone man walking it in a space-suit, who Oudeis approaches, and Franta, finding the right language, asks to board their ship and what happened to his world.
The stranger explains his planet once had a system in which everything was communal but the commanders possessed private property and the people suffered; a revolution brought democracy, and everything was privatised to the point air, polluted by industry, was commodified and all his race was destroyed but him.
The crew arrives on another planet covered in fat, long strong poles pushing through, and lice the size of foals pepper the surface, one of which a crewmate blasts and out the hole spurts blood.
Now that the crew have been travelling for five years, Oudeis calls a council to say they can either return to Earth and be imprisoned, leaving the cosmos in threat, or aimlessly continue as they are.
Oudeis asks a man he finds why he weeps; he explains the king's daughter will be sacrificed to the monster Gr-gr-gros and leads them to the palace.
Franta convinces Caesar to give up its memory drive, the companions are woken from suspended animation, and the ship sails into the cosmos.
The robbers cover their ship in an electromagnetic cloak, making them invisible, so Oudeis flies by, and they retreat to an asteroid to repair the damage.
Large birds living on its surface attack it and pierce the vessel, exposing the robbers to the vacuum, killing them, and destroying the cloak.
There is an asteroid of pure gold, dense enough to support its own atmosphere and populated by sheep whose dung coats the surface – Mandys lives there as a shepherd.
Time, Onuphrios explains with an analogy, is like a huge 3D ring with two surfaces, where one is the present, the other the past: one cannot pass one from side to the other without crossing an edge or piercing.
On the next planet Oudeis dispatches men who do not return; the sensors find them smiling in a plain, surrounded by cephalopod creatures.
The Commander of the Time Guardians approaches, asking who they are, suspecting they have come for a time-plotter; Oudeis replies truthfully, explaining the cosmos-observing sheep.
Oudeis stays on the asteroid for a short while, and while the other men sleep he goes to the shepherd's cave and sees Veles wears a mask; removing it, he finds Mandys.
Oudeis tells the men he will board the skiff with Franta, Tonda, and the time-plotter to chase after Mandys to draw the Time Guardians away; they must return home and enjoy life; Burda is appointed admiral.
Mandys took the wrong sheep: when the Time Guardians fired on the asteroid, it shook and darkness fell on their eyes for a moment – they realised the cosmos-observer was real, and Oudeis' men radiophoned Franta to report this and say they will collect him in the Tatra Mountains.
[10] Ποῦ ἀρχήν γε λάβοιμι τίδε πρότερον καταλέξω; Εἰρωτᾷς ὅτις εἰμί τέ μοι κλυτὸν οὔνομα ζητεῖς.
Τοίγαρ ἐγὼ φήσω· ἐπεὶ ἐσσόμενός γε ἱκάνω οὐχί κεν ἐκφωνεῖν δύνασαις, χαλεπὸν δὲ τόδ' ἐστι.
Οὐδένα πλοίαρχόν περ ἐπίκλησιν κεκαλήσθω ὥς εἰν βίβλοισιν μυστηρικὸν ἄνδρα καλοῦσι τολμηρόν· Νήμω καπιτᾶνον Ῥωμαϊστί τε.
Ποῦ δ' ἀρχήν γε λάβοιμι τίδε πρότερον καταλέξω; To begin, first the Muses' choir dwelling on Helikonos I invoke with all might, as do also the ruler Apollo, the fine ruler of Muses and also the god of all poets, let them witness my voyage through the void of the cosmos, [5] the planet'ry wonders, and also the great deeds of men, done as we voyaged out there through the black chasm, myself, the ship's captain, and also my worthy companions, for Mandys searching and the sheep which watches the cosmos, tell us of this now, oh god, ye goddesses also!