Four-sides model

The four sides of the message are fact, self-disclosure, social relationship between sender and receiver, and wish or want.

In it von Thun combined the idea of a postulate (the second axiom) from psychologist Paul Watzlawick, that every message contains content and relational facets,[4] with the three sides of the Organon model by Karl Bühler, that every message might reveal something about the sender, the receiver, and the request at hand.

[5] These models are part of the linguistic speech act theory.

The classic example of Schulz von Thun is the front-seat passenger who tells the driver: "Hey, the traffic lights are green".

The receiver proves with the "Factual ear", whether the matter message fulfills the criteria of truth (true/untrue) or relevance (relevant/irrelevant) and the completeness (satisfying/something has to be added).

The self-revealing ear of the receiver perceives which information about the sender is hidden in the message.

[3] Depending on how the sender talks to the receiver (way of expression, body language, intonation ...) the sender expresses esteem, respect, friendliness, disinterest, contempt or something else.

Depending on which message the receiver hears with relationship ear, he feels either depressed, accepted or patronized.