[1] Consequence of Sound described the track as one "that bounds manically between bass-heavy trip-hop, lush pop interludes, lo-fi funk, [and] shimmery synth-pop",[2] further naming its video as a "hyperactive collage of imagery".

"[1] Heather Phares of AllMusic said that Honda and Hatori have included songs on the album "that feel connected to their earlier work, yet not overtly retro", and that the duo bring out the "contrast of brash and ethereal moods at the heart of their music to the fullest".

[7] She singled out "the pretty, mercurial pop of 'Déjà Vu', which features some extra-playful rapping from Hatori" as "a standout from the album's louder first half, along with the grooving '10th Floor Ghost Girl' and the irresistibly bouncy 'MFN'".

[7] For its second half, Phares remarked that "'Empty Pool' showcase the duo's undimmed flair for seductive yet approachable atmospheres" and concluded by saying that Hotel Valentine "might be Cibo Matto's most whimsical album yet", giving it four out of five stars.

dance-punk ('10th Floor Ghost Girl')[, ...] the rickety but sinuous acid-jazz charge of 'Emerald Tuesday'; the title track's codeine Tropicalia; [and] the swooning acoustic-guitar soul of closer 'Check Out'"—are "engaging" and "sound [...] unconcerned with trendwatching.

"[13] Austin Trunick of Under the Radar labeled Hotel Valentine a "loose, wonky concept album", and opined that "MFN" is "the only track which approaches the off-kilter energy of a classic like 'Birthday Cake'; too much of the remainder dissolves into one another, and little else captivates.

Club's Chris Mincher wrote that while "the album's sonic patchwork is the intended result, [...] the whimsical genre-jumping feels a bit tired; the rapid experimentation that came off as vibrant and brash in the '90s alt-music scene doesn't accomplish nearly as much in 2014.

"[8] Despite conceding that the duo "show occasional flashes of matured songwriting—particularly on the smoky, jazz-inflected title track", Mincher closed with "Hotel Valentine is a fine addition to the limited canon of colorful post-punk all-girl trip-hop records, but can't avoid sounding like the relic that label implies.