Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines

[2] The present-day character of marriages and weddings in the Philippines were primarily influenced by the permutation of Christian, both Catholic and Protestant, Hindu,[3] Islam, Chinese, Spanish,[1] and American models.

A typical Filipino wedding in pre-colonial times, is held for three days, and was officiated by a babaylan, a tribal priest or priestess.

On the first day, the couple was brought to the priest's home, where the babaylan blessed them as their hands were joined over a container of uncooked rice.

The priest proclaimed that the couple were officially wed once their necks and hands were bound by a cord or, sometimes, their long hairs were entwined.

[5] After the ceremony, a series of gift-giving rituals were also done to counter any negative signals from the bride: refusal to ascend the stairs to her new home; denies to participate in the marriage banquet; or enter the bridal chamber.

[5] Parts of Filipino wedding ceremonies have become faith-centered and God-centered, which also highlights the concept that the union of two individuals is a "life long commitment" of loving and caring.

Once the woman's parents accept the proposal, other matters will be discussed during this meeting including among other things, the wedding plan, the date, the finances, and the list of guests.

[3] Pamamanhikan enforces the importance of the familial nature of the wedding, as traditionally a marriage is the formation of an alliance between two clans as well as the joining of individuals.

This event is separate from the Despedida de Soltera (Spanish: "Farewell to Single-hood") party some families have before the wedding.

[2] Throwing the rice over bride and groom for prosperity and placing of sampaguita garland around the neck are continuing pre-Spanish Hindu influence in Philippines, even the term "asawa" for spouse is of Indian origin.

The arrhae is a symbol of his "monetary gift" to the bride because it is composed of 13 pieces of gold, or silver coins, a "pledge" that the groom is devoted to the welfare and well-being of his wife and future offspring.

Apart from silk, popular materials used to make the wedding cord are strings of flowers, links of coins, or a chain designed like a long, double rosary.

During the wedding reception, it is typical to release a pair of white male and female doves, symbolizing marital harmony and peace.

For the Maranao, Maguindanao, Iranun, and Kaagan of Mindanao island itself, the wedding celebration is referred to by the generic term used for feasts: Kalilang.

This follows the generic pattern in that the groom, his father, and the father of the bride meet with the imam and after several recitations of the Quran and Arabic lectures traced to what Muhammad said were uttered, advice given on how the groom is to ensure an Islamic marriage, the verbal marriage contract is agreed upon and a prayer is said.

An agong may or may not be sounded to announce the marriage is complete and the walima or reception is to begin, The kalilang itself can be held in a marquee or hired hall.

Food will have been cooked from early that morning in anticipation of the walima, and the aim would always be to feed as many people or attendees as possible in order for Allah to Bestow blessings on the family and the bride and groom.

A kambayoka (who is a professional hereditary arts and poetry person, charged with remembering family histories and the line of sultans) will usually chant favourites from traditional sagas and epics like the darangen.

In the Sulu archipelago and southern Palawan, the marriage traditions of the Tausug, Yakan, Sama-Bajau and Jama Mapun differ greatly from those of Mindanaon Muslims.

Historically the clothing worn by the groom would point to his wealth, with hajji (those who had undertaken the hajj pilgrimage to Makkah) wearing the Arab thawb or “barong mahaba” and the white checkered ghutra typical of Saudi Arabia.

After the standard recitations from the Quran and prayers the actual contract is made by the groom and father of the bridge pressing one thumb and one toe against each other, while sitting, with the imam seated in between.

This specific gesture harkens back to the Hindu marriages, and the puja or blessing (also seen in Balinese weddings) seen in the preislamized Sulu archipelago.

Kulintangan music is traditionally played for at least a portion of the proceedings, as well as performances of kissa and or salsila or chants from local legend, sultanate history or historic Islamic events.

[4] The bride must not wear pearls as these are similar to tears,[4] and a procession of men holding bolos and musicians playing agongs must be done.

The purpose of this procession is similar to the current practice of breaking plates during the wedding reception, in order to dispel bad luck.

[4][5] Spanish colonizers introduced new beliefs to the Philippines, with particular concern over banning activities that may cause broken marriages, sadness and regret.

Wedding gowns cannot be worn in advance, [4] as any black-coloured clothing during the ceremony, and sharp objects such as knives cannot be given as gifts.

[4][5] Other beliefs include a typhoon on the wedding day being an ill omen; that after the ceremony the bride should walk ahead of her husband or step on his foot to prevent being dominated by him; and an accidentally dropped ring, veil, or arrhae will cause marital misery.

[5][18] Superstitious beliefs on good fortune include showering the married couple with uncooked rice, as this wishes them a prosperous life together.

The remedy to this belief, called sukob, is to have the one marrying later pass through the back entrance of the church instead of its main doors.