Marriage in Pakistan

Marriage in Pakistan (Urdu: پاکستانی شادی Pākistānī Śādī) pertains to wedding traditions established and adhered by Pakistani men and women.

Arranged and semi-arranged marriages in Pakistan often take long periods of time to finalize and up to a year or more can elapse from the day of engagement until the wedding ceremony.

Bijjar usually came in the form of cattle or crops but nowadays is mainly money, which is repaid back at weddings of relatives and friends at a later time.

It is often the most energetic part of the wedding, whereby friends and family members put money in a plate above the head of the bride, called Leth.

Rasm-e-mehndi/henna (رسمی حنا) or mehndi (مہندی) is a ceremony that is named after henna, a dye prepared from the Lawsonia inermis plant which is mixed into a paste form to apply onto the hands of the bride and groom.

Rukhsati (رُخصتی) - "sending off" (sometimes called Doli (ڈولی) - "palanquin") takes place when the groom and bride leave the shaadi venue together with the elders of the Family.

The games and pranks are juxtaposed with the dour occasion for the bride's parents, as the doli marks the departure of their daughter from the family unit, to establish a new home for herself.

In order to bless and protect the couple, the Qur'an is held over the bride's head as she leaves, and even though there is no basis in Islam or Muslim tradition for the Rukhsati.

[16] In recent times, withholding or delaying the rukhsati has been used to exert control over the couple by the family of the bride or to extract dowry from the groom.

However, in Islam as it is considered haram (impermissible) for any person to restrain a married woman from going with her husband, after the Nikkah has been performed[18] Garlands dressing Dastar Bandi ( دستار بندی ) is a ceremony where a turban is placed on the head of the groom and marks the start of manhood.

On the day of Manghno the groom's family arrives at bride's house with a long veil (Pothi), Cholo (bodice), Suthan (pantaloons), sometimes also Lengha is given, and some ornamentals such as "Haar" necklace, a "Var" and "Khirol" different kinds of gold rings.

The future bride is then dressed in the clothes and ornaments, seated in a conspicuous part of room, The bridegroom's mother first put a big embroidered veil "Pothi" on to bride, and put engagement ring into her finger, then the 7 "Suhaganio" married women one by one apply oil on her hair and make braids, also apply henna on her hands, while making her eat sweets, while other ladies sing sehra/lada/geech (traditional folk songs), the bride's mother sends the barber's wife to the men's assembly with a large pot of milk directed to the father of the bridegroom.

Between the periods of betrothal and marriage, the bridegroom's parents and relatives on all great occasions like eid, take or send presents to the bride, a little money and sweetmeats, together with a dress or two.

The bride is made to sit in a corner of a room with "akhiyo" on her face, till the day/night of marriage, some rituals like applying oil in hairs by "suhaganio" married women is also done called "Wanah ja sath" with ladies singing sehras/ladas/geech, once these rituals are done and everyone leaves then the bride is made to stay in one room, no one, not even a female, being permitted to see the girl's face at this particular period.

The barber's wife attends every day to bathe and wash the bride with Pithi (a succedaneum for soap, composed of sweet oil and flour of wheat or Mash, the Phaseolus radiatus), and the hair of the body are removed.

All the different arts of the cosmetics, such as staining the hands, feet, and hair with henna, dyeing the lips with Musag (walnut bark), the cheeks with Surkhi (a preparation of lac, corresponding with rouge), and the eyes with Kajjal, or lamp-black, are also tried.

At times sandalwood and rose water were rubbed upon the head and body, after the former has been thoroughly combed and washed with the clay called "Metu" and lime juice.

The young beginner is instructed in the science of handling a bit of musk enclosed in embroidered cloth, and Tira, or moles, are drawn upon her face and lips with needles dipped in antimony and other coloring matters.

The Missi, or copper powder, the idea that it strengthens the teeth and relieves their whiteness is seldom applied in Sindh by modest women.

Three days are considered sufficient to clean him with Pithi, dress him in rich clothes mostly white in color, with Ajrak or Lungee shawls, Patko (turban), garlands of money and flowers, he is also supposed to perform nimaz 5 times a day, and recite "Quran" and pray for himself and for his married life, bridegroom is shown to the public at Maulud (commemorations of the Prophet's nativity), feasts given to the relations and friends of the family.

Bukki: this ceremony is done after wanahu in which thread is tied to a big earthen pot called "Ukhri", and the dried dates are crushed into it while ladies sing sehra, lada or geech.

Early in the evening the barber appears to the Ghot's house, makes him get ready, dresses him in new white Salwar khamis (shirt and trousers) clothes, a turban, waistband, shawl (Ajrak Lungi/Maleer/Doshalo), also other extra red/pink embroidered veil on his head, "mor" and a pair of slippers everything sent by the bride's relations.

At the same time, the Kunwar is decked out by the barber's wife in a suit of clothes, together with various kinds of jewels," procured for her by her future spouse's family.

Dhakkun Bhanjan and Kandi Katanu: A small earthen dhakkanu (pot-cover) is placed upside down on ground in front of bridegroom, then he is desired to stamp upon it.

Muth Kholanu: A dry date is then placed in the bride's right hand; she is told to hold it firmly and the bridegroom is desired to take it from her.

Chawar ji rasam: the last ritual in some part of sindh is performed, when the bride leaves her house, she takes rice in her hands and throw them to her behind.

Walimo (Reception): is the post wedding ceremony where the family members, relatives, friends, neighbors of both bride and groom are invited a grand feast is served.

In Pakistan, wedding photography vividly captures the cultural richness and joyous moments of matrimonial celebrations, showcasing vibrant traditions and emotional significance.

[19]Mehr (مهر) is a mandatory bridewealth payment , in the form of money or possessions that will be paid by the groom to the bride and stipulated in the nikkah contract.