Sibling rivalry
Sibling bonds are influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, people and experiences outside the family.
[1] According to Kyla Boyse from the University of Michigan, each child in a family competes to define who they are as an individual and wants to show that they are separate from their siblings.
[3] Alfred Adler saw siblings as "striving for significance" within the family and felt that birth order was an important aspect of personality development.
In fact, psychologists and researchers today endorse the influence of birth order, as well as age and gender constellations, on sibling relationships.
"[7] Researchers generally endorse this view, noting that parents can ameliorate this response by taking appropriate preventative steps and avoiding favoritism.
[8][9] The ideal time to lay the groundwork for a lifetime of supportive relationships between siblings is during the months prior to the new baby's arrival.
Children who experience abuse and harsh parenting early in life or who see violent parent-child interactions are more likely to respond aggressively toward their siblings.
According to coercion theory, inadequate parenting (such as using harsh punishments like spanking or scolding) and failing to discipline a child results in hostile, coercive sibling interactions.
Parents can reduce the opportunity for rivalry by refusing to compare or typecast their children,[14] planning fun family activities together, and making sure each child has enough time and space of their own.
First, given that children use different conflict-resolution tactics during various developmental stages, one must rule out the possibility that the questioned behavior is in fact age-appropriate for the child exhibiting it.
Third, one must determine if there is an "aspect of victimization" to the behavior: rivalry tends to be incident-specific, reciprocal, and obvious to others, while abuse is characterized by secrecy and an imbalance of power.
Fourth, one must determine the goal of the questioned and/or questionable behavior: while rivalry is motivated entirely or primarily by aspects of a child's self-interest in which the interests of others, including the child's rival, do not play a role, in scenarios featuring abuse, the perpetrator's ultimate interests tend to include domination, humiliation, or at least embarrassment of the victim.
King Lear provokes rivalry among his three daughters by asking them to describe their love for him; in the same play, Edmund contrives to force his half-brother Edgar into exile.
In John Steinbeck's East of Eden, the brothers Cal and Aron Trask are counterparts to Cain and Abel of the Bible story.
Sibling rivalry is a common theme in media that features child characters, reflecting the importance of this issue in early life.
These issues can include jealousy on the birth of a new baby, different sibling roles, frequent arguments, competitiveness for mother's affection, and tensions between step-siblings.
The tale of sibling rivalry has been a rich source of inspiration for filmmakers, evident in the cinematic brilliance of "Deewar" (1975) and the modern exploration found in "Kapoor & Sons" (2016).
[39] Actresses Olivia de Havilland and Joan Fontaine had an uneasy relationship from childhood and in 1975 the sisters stopped speaking to each other completely.
[40] The incredibly popular singing Andrews Sisters maintained professional harmony in show business for more than 30 years, but clashed famously in their personal lives (after LaVerne's death in 1967, Patty and Maxene stopped speaking in 1975 and never looked back).
[42] Twin sisters and advice columnists Ann Landers and Abigail Van Buren had a relationship that was alternately very close and publicly antagonistic.
[43] Journalists Christopher and Peter Hitchens had many public disagreements and at least one protracted falling-out due to their differing political and religious views.
