[2] The story by Annie Nocenti follows Chase Revere, manager of the local history museum, who discovers that an Indian casino is about to be built over the town's Revolutionary War battlefield.

His friend Digs, who has devoted himself to having sex with as many high school girls as possible, is disgusted at this and wants Chase to join him on the dating scene.

A group of Native Americans arrive in town, taking up temporary residence in the hotel run by Chase's father, to consider setting up a casino in Patriotville.

Chase is incensed even before learning that the proposed building site is the historical battlefield, believing that the casino will desecrate the town's culture.

They meet opposition from both the government and the general citizenry, who seem convinced that the casino's financial benefits outweigh the battlefield's historical value.

Lucy finds Chase and confesses that, much as Digs suspected, the mayor is the third married man in a position of authority who she had an affair with, but also says that she is giving up this behavior.

Chase finally realizes that Lucy does not really care about him, that the casino's victory gave just about everyone in town what they wanted, and that he has a larger role in life than safeguarding Patriotville's "minor league" history.

While cleaning their room, he finds actors' makeup and a wanted poster which clue him in that the "Native Americans" are actually con men.