These principles include: enhancing their "love maps"; nurturing their fondness and admiration; turning toward each other instead of away; letting their spouse influence them; solving their solvable problems; overcoming gridlock; and creating a shared sense of meaning.

Gottman also writes about the "Four Horseman" that are important to minimize and avoid: 1) criticism, 2) defensiveness, 3) contempt, and 4) stonewalling.

It manifests itself in the silent treatment, conveys disapproval of the other, and is an unwillingness to properly communicate during contention.

Nurture Your Fondness & Admiration: This is showing that you care about the other person and focusing on and acknowledging the positives.

It can also have a spiritual dimension that has to do with creating an inner life together–a culture rich with symbols and rituals, and an appreciation for your roles and goals that link you, that lead you to understand what it means to be part of the family you have become” (Gottman & Silver, 1999).

[6][7][8] It was a New York Times bestseller,[9] and was included in the U.S. Army's Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program.

[11][12][13] A 2001 study noted the book aligned with feminist principles and research stating that shared power is essential for a successful marriage.

[14] Psychologist Milton Spett criticized Gottman's lack of scientific rigor in his claims of low relapse from his marital therapy: "Gottman makes these claims without reporting any of the standard techniques of outcome research: no control group, no random assignment to treatments, no blind assessment of outcome.