Engagement

The duration of the courtship varies vastly, and is largely dependent on cultural norms or upon the agreement of the parties involved.

This was later adopted in ancient Greece as the gamos and engeysis rituals, although unlike in Judaism, the contract made in front of witness was only verbal.

The betrothal period was also considered to be a preparatory time, in which the groom built a house, started a business or otherwise proved his readiness to enter adult society.

[citation needed] In medieval Europe, in canon law, a betrothal could be formed by the exchange of vows in the future tense ("I will take you as my wife/husband," instead of "I take you as my wife/husband"), but sexual intercourse consummated the vows, making a binding marriage rather than a betrothal.

In some common law countries, including England and Wales and many US states, it was once possible for the spurned partner (often only the woman) to sue the other for breach of promise or "heart-balm".

This provided some protection in an age where virginity at marriage was considered important and having a failed engagement could damage one's reputation, but this tort has become obsolete in most jurisdictions as attitudes to premarital sex have softened and emphasis shifted to allowing people to leave loveless relationships.

[8] In Jewish weddings during Talmudic times (c.1st century BC – 6th century AD), the two ceremonies of betrothal (erusin) and wedding usually took place up to a year apart; the bride lived with her parents until the actual marriage ceremony (nissuin), which would take place in a room or tent that the groom had set up for her.

The betrothal is now generally part of the Jewish wedding ceremony, accomplished when the groom gives the bride the ring or another object of at least nominal value.

The concept of an official engagement period in Western European culture may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that "marriages are to be ... announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time so that, if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known.

and N.N., desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a lifelong union of husband and wife as it is set forth in the Book of Common Prayer.

We believe it is established by God for the procreation of children, and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord; for mutual joy, and for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; to maintain purity, so that husbands and wives, with all the household of God, might serve as holy and undefiled members of the Body of Christ; and for the upbuilding of Christ’s kingdom in family, church, and society, to the praise of his holy Name.

We do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God’s help thereto.”[4]Following the signing of the declaration of intention, the couple is blessed by the priest:[4] Now that N. and N. have declared their intention for a Holy Marriage, and have begun the process of pre-marital preparation, let us pray for their relationship [and for their families].

Open their minds and hearts to one another, enable them faithfully to receive your Word and Sacrament, and help us to support them, that they may rightly prepare for their marriage.

And, we pray, give us wisdom to uphold and encourage all who have been united in Holy Matrimony; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Traditionally, the betrothal service takes place at the time the engagement is announced, though in certain localities it may performed immediately before the wedding ceremony itself.

The exchange of rings is not a part of the wedding service in the Eastern Churches, but only occurs at the betrothal ceremony.

Romans believed the circle was a bond between the two people who were to be married and signified eternity, but was first practiced on the fourth finger/ring finger by the Romans, who believed this finger to be the beginning of the vena amoris ("vein of love"), the vein that leads to the heart.

They are made of silver ("alianza de plata") when manifesting an informal "boyfriend-girlfriend" relationship, though this first step might not always happen; howbeit depending on finances, this may be the only ring given at all.

[25] In ancient Greece, engagement parties were held without the bride and took place to discuss the legal and economic aspects of the marriage.