Howland was born in 1835[1] to a prominent New York City family active in philanthropy and social reform, especially abolitionism and the decent care of the mentally ill.
Her parents were Charles William Woolsey, a descendant of an early English settler in what was then the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam, and Jane Eliza Newton of Alexandria, Virginia.
During the American Civil War, Joseph joined the Sixteenth New York Volunteers and served until he was seriously wounded during the Seven Days Battles of the Peninsular Campaign.
[1] During her husband's absence, Howland and her sister Georgeanna Woolsey wrote constantly to each other, their correspondence being eventually published in 1899 as Letters of a family during the Civil War, 1861-1865.
[5] Howland also wrote and privately printed Family records: being some account of the ancestry of my mother and father Charles William Woolsey and Jane Eliza Newton in 1900.