'way of the land'),[a] or what is a Hebrew idiom used to describe etiquette, is understood as the order and manner of conduct of man in the presence of other men;[1][2] being a set of social norms drawn from the world of human interactions.
In the Talmud and Midrashic literature there are many things on this subject, some of which having the same rigid application of the Torah itself,[1] while others pertain to the customs in the synagogues, or at the dinner table.
Jewish etiquette is a complex system of mores and manners that have been agreed upon by the community, and which seeks to delineate an acceptable standard of social laws governing the expectations of personal conduct with respect to one's fellow Jew and/or Gentile, or environment.
Ancient Jewish communities throughout the world have preserved a well-documented system of etiquette, and are believed to have mimicked the social order once universally practised by all Jews in former times.
[5] Jews in ancient times adhered to strict codes of conduct, where custom played an important role in the way they would interact with one another; with an emphasis on decorum (good manners), respect and politeness, as well as on virtues and vices.
The precursor for Jewish social etiquette dates back to antiquity, and has been documented in one of the Minor Tractates, known as Derech Ereẓ (Manners), the name of a treatise attached to Talmud editions, divided into Rabba (Large) and Zuta (Small).
In the Talmud and Midrash, there are approximately 200 teachings concerning derekh eretz as decent, polite, respectful, thoughtful, and civilized behavior,[8] as well as a Minor Tractate (Derech Ereẓ) specifically treating on these issues.
Sometimes ethical codes include sections that are meant to give firm rules, but some offer only general guidance, while at other times the words are merely aspirational.
[27] Whenever a person met up with his neighbour, whether on a weekday or on a Sabbath day, the customary words at greeting him are (שלום עליכם = shalom ʿaleikhem), literally meaning, "Peace be unto you."
The greeter, in this case, will place the palm of his right hand over his own heart and make a slight bow of courtesy, out of respect for his Rabbi.
The Rabbi, in turn, will usually answer him in kind, by responding: (עליכם שלום וברכה = ʿaleikhem shalom u'ḇrakha), "May peace and a blessing be upon you.
The person studying will duly respond by saying, in respect, (כי הוא חייך ואורך ימיך = kī hū ḥayekha we-orekh yamekha), meaning, "For it is your life and the prolonging of your days," an allusion to the biblical verse in Deuteronomy 30:20.
[42] Another expression is (בעונות = be-ʿawonot), meaning, "On account of [our] iniquities" --- said by the person who has just heard bad news (disaster, destruction, divorce and broken homes, etc.)
In the lament's introduction, the poet describes a young woman who grieves heavily over the parting of her loved one, as if she had been bereaved of her firstborn son.
[73] Those who took little regard to this rabbinic stricture and who would eat unabashedly in the marketplace were libeled as incompetent to bear witness in a Jewish court of law, since such people were generally seen as shameless.
"[79] Observant Jews, while eating, will keep communication around the table to a bare minimum, almost maintaining complete silence,[80] in keeping with the rabbinic dictum, "The hour of eating is an hour of warfare,"[81] explained as "lest the windpipe precedes the esophagus" (i.e. the intake of food is inadvertently channeled down the windpipe, instead of the gullet, and he chokes thereby).
[77] This final handwashing was performed due to a common belief that if a person put his fingers to his eyes without washing away the residual salt he could become blind.
This may have been because Jewish men in oriental lands traditionally wore tunics and long, dress-like vestments, and the impracticality of urinating while standing without revealing one's buttocks and privy place.
So, too, after he concludes his bath, he covers his nakedness in his sheet or towel until he reaches the dressing chamber, where he puts back on his clothes.
Clothing, as anchored in Jewish law, is often a sign of one's identity, and plays an important role in preserving a social hierarchy, as well as to distinguish between religious groups, age, gender, and more.
[101][102] For women and girls, in particular, it has the additional function of instilling in them the rule of discipline and the principle of restraint, of modesty and submission to authority.
In Arab lands, the Jewish custom was for unmarried men and boys to wear a large felt-like hat without a brim and which covered the greater part of their head.
[109][110] In the language register employed by the Jews of Yemen there are preserved ancient linguistic patterns, especially in the field of blessings and good wishes.
The most ancient of these can be found in the corpus of Midrashic literature, while the most recent date back to the period of the Middle-Ages and to the Cairo Geniza fragments.
"[88] Rabbi and ethnographer, Jacob Sapir (1822–1886), who visited Yemen's Jewish community in 1859, noted certain expressions in widespread use among the Jews there, and wrote of his impressions on this wise: They are very well accustomed, whenever a man tells his friend [about] his troubles or his aspirations, to reply back unto him in consolation (אהיה אשר אהיה = Eheyeh Asher Eheyeh), literally meaning, "I shall be what I shall be",[111][112] an allusion to God's ability to affect change, or (אל שדי = El Shaddai), meaning, "God Almighty", while this [expression] does not cease from their mouths... Over every speech or statement made, they will say, (ברוך תהיה = Borūkh tehiyeh!
[120][121] In public events, Jewish men and woman, including boys and girls, sat in separate company; the sexes did not mingle together, out of a display of modesty.
[124] In addition, Jewish women will abstain from wearing a predominantly red colored accoutrement, as it attracts undue attention to themselves (see Dress codes).
A few of the more common forms of rhymed addresses in a letter's opening are as follows: (A principal person's greeting): "An abundance of peace, even a thousand-fold and ten thousand-fold, from He that dwells in the heavens; may they reach and come before my beloved, he that is the delight of mine eye, like the valleys of brooks that are spread out,[126] even unto him that is near to my heart, but far from mine eye, [he that is like] an ornament of grace upon my neck; he that is of a good name, who is like unto a green tree, God will also provide for him what is good, even our honorable and dear [so-and-so], etc.
"[127] The quintessential Jewish expression, (שלמכון יסגא לעלמין = šelomkhōn yisğei le-ʻolǝmīn), or what is understood as, "May your peace be multiplied always," is a form of formal address often used in letter writing, and which is written in Aramaic.
Occasionally, the signatories will make use of the abbreviated expression, (יצ"ו = yišmǝro ṣūro wiyoṣǝro), meaning, "May his Rock and Creator preserve him," instead of the typical ending, "He that is but mire and clay."