The Wife of Auchtermuchty

The poem narrates how a farmer, envious of his wife's apparently easy life, proposes that the couple exchange their normal responsibilities.

At the end of the day, with some encouragement from his shrewd and strong-willed wife, the husband decides that he has learnt a valuable lesson and will return to his plough.

At the day's end he arrives home, "weary, wet and cold", to find his wife warming herself by the fire, clean and dry, with a bowl of soup.

He lowsit the pluch at the landis end, And draif his oxin hame at evin, When he come in he lookit ben, And saw the wyf baith dry and clene, And sittand at ane fyre beikand bawld, With ane fat soup as I hard say, The man being wery, weit and cauld, Between thay twa it was na play.

Dame, ye mon to the pluch to morne, I salbe hussy gif I may, The wife agrees and then describes what work will be required of him.

The husband must tend to the livestock, sift, knead, keep their infant children clean, maintain the hearth and protect their goslings.

The wife spends the rest of the evening churning a batch of butter and leaves only buttermilk instead of cream for her husband.

Scho kyrnd the kyrne and skumd it clene, And left the gudman bot the bledoch bair, The wife rises early the next morning and sets off for the fields carrying an unusually hearty lunch.

The first that he gat in his armis, It was all dirt up to its ene, The divill cutt of thair handis quod he, That fild yow all sa fow this strene.

Than up scho gat ane mekle rung, And the gudeman maid to the dur, Quod he, deme, I sall hald my tung, For and we fecht ill get the woir Quod he, quhen I forsuk my pluche, I trow I but forsuk my seill, And I will to my pluch agane, For I and this hous will nevir do weill.