This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It (also known under its working title of John and Dave and the Fifth Wall) is a 2012 comic lovecraftian horror novel written by Jason Pargin under the pseudonym of David Wong.

This backfires when the spiders escape and begin attacking firefighters on the scene, instantly turning their bodies into the violent monsters "like Optimus Prime made of meat".

Dr. Albert Marconi arrives to investigate the outbreak and reveals to Dave his findings: many of the infected remain completely lucid for days and may potentially never "turn" into monsters at all.

The two decide to break out and John improvises by blowing up oxygen tanks, compromising the containment area and causing the entire REPER force to pull out of town.

They venture into the now-abandoned asylum building and, when the group from the hospital arrives through a tunnel, they panic and massacre them all, only for the sounds to attract the actual monsters, who slaughter them in turn.

A town mob that believes everyone inside the hospital to be infected and beyond hope attempts to stop them, but John and Dave escape through a portal door and reach the asylum, where they reunite with Amy.

However, most of the infected either have no idea or manage to keep their parasites in check, and the outbreak happened only because Tennet and others like him have found an infrasound frequency that causes the spiders to turn their hosts into monsters and go into frenzy.

[5][6] SF Signal gave This Book Is Full of Spiders an overwhelmingly positive review, stating that it was "Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H. P. Lovecraft" and that "this exceptional thriller [...] makes zombies relevant again.