Forgiveness
In some schools of thought, it involves a personal and "voluntary" effort at the self-transformation of one's half of a relationship with another, such that one is restored to peace and ideally to what psychologist Carl Rogers has referred to as "unconditional positive regard" towards the other.
A longitudinal study showed that people who were generally more neurotic, angry, and hostile in life were less likely to forgive another person even after a long time had passed.
[31] In his 1962 lecture on "Freedom and Resentment"', philosopher P. F. Strawson described forgiveness as "a rather unfashionable subject in moral philosophy" at that time.
The Tefila Zaka meditation, which is recited just before Yom Kippur, closes with the following: I know that there is no one so righteous that they have not wronged another, financially or physically, through deed or speech.
Sir Jonathan Sacks, chief rabbi of the United Hebrew Congregations of the Commonwealth, summarized: "It is not that God forgives, while human beings do not.
Therefore, do not look at the shortcomings of anybody; see with the sight of forgiveness.In Buddhism, forgiveness prevents harmful thoughts from causing havoc on one's mental well-being.
"In contemplating the law of karma, we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing mettā and forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all.
In Vedic literature and epics of Hinduism, ksama or kshyama (Sanskrit: क्षमा)[104] and fusion words based on it, name the concept of forgiveness.
[105] Forgiveness is to be sought from the individual wronged, as well as society at large, utilizing charity, purification, fasting, rituals, and meditative introspection.
In the Hindu epic Ramayana, Sita – the wife of King Rama – is symbolically eulogized for forgiving a crow even as it harms her.
No private quarrel or dispute may be carried beyond samvatsari, and letters and telephone calls are made to the outstation[jargon] friends and relatives asking their forgiveness.
In their daily prayers and samayika, Jains recite Iryavahi sutra, seeking forgiveness from all creatures while involved in routine activities:[121] May you, O Revered One!
I may have kicked, covered with dust, rubbed with ground, collided with another, turned upside down, tormented, frightened, shifted from one place to another, or killed and deprived them of their lives.
This could come from tactics such as humor, eye contact, hugging, or reverting back to acting normal, or how things were before the transgression.
[128] Researchers found six components that were related to forgiveness in marriage: satisfaction, ambivalence, conflict, attributions, empathy, and commitment.
On the other hand, in dating relationships, the tendency to forgive was positively correlated with the use of nonverbal and explicit strategy, as was the transgression severity.
Overall, this study showed that both married and dating couples who experienced similar amounts of transgressions did not differ largely in their satisfaction in the relationship after the forgiveness had occurred.
[128] The researchers also came up with recommendations for practitioners and interventions to help married individuals communicate with each other, to resolve problems, and to forgive each other more easily.
[136] Psychology researchers agree that the purpose of forgiveness interventions is to decrease the overall negative effect associated with the stimulus[vague] and increase the individual's positive affect.
[137] Critics argued that forgiveness interventions may cause an increase in negative affect because they try to inhibit the person's feelings towards the offender.
[137] Wanda Malcolm, a registered psychologist, states: "It is not a good idea to make forgiveness an a-priori goal of therapy".
[144] People who reported that their religious groups promoted forgiveness also related success in overcoming addictions, guilt, and perceiving encouragement when feeling discouraged.
[146] Among the elderly, self-forgiveness often involves introspection about past wrongdoings, aiming to prevent their recurrence; this process contributes to enhancing their authentic self-concept.
[155] Direct influences of forgiveness include: Reducing hostility (which is inversely correlated with physical health), and that unforgiveness may degrade the immune system because it puts stress on the individual.
[158] Unforgiving or holding grudges can contribute to adverse health outcomes by perpetuating anger and heightening SNS[expand initialism] arousal and cardiovascular reactivity.
Expression of anger has been strongly associated with chronically elevated blood pressure and with the aggregation of platelets, which may increase vulnerability to heart disease.
[160] Self-forgiveness is the overcoming of negative emotions that the wrongdoer associates with the wrongful action, which can include guilt, regret, remorse, blame, shame, self-hatred and/or self-contempt.
[164] The ability to forgive oneself for past offences can lessen negative emotions such as shame and guilt, and can increase positive practices such as self-kindness and self-compassion.
The proposed model has four key elements: responsibility, remorse, restoration, and renewal:[164] The process of self-forgiveness is not always applicable for every person.
[164] For example, people who have not caused others any harm or wrongdoing, but instead suffer from negative emotions such as self-hatred or self-pity—such as victims of assault—might attempt self-forgiveness for their perceived offences.
