"Alternative Roots" is an episode of the British comedy television series The Goodies.
[citation needed] Written by The Goodies, with songs and music by Bill Oddie.
Graeme's family were Highlanders who lived in bleak conditions in Scotland, where initiation of the young men of the village included being dunked in porridge and catching a wild haggis.
Tim, whose ancestors were also English, concludes that they were noble, because the family had its own coat of arms; Bill reinterprets the coat of arms and shows Tim that his ancestors were in fact sheep stealers.
All of the young men who had been captured were then put up for auction as entertainers, and eventually everyone had been bought — apart from 'Kounty Kutie', 'Keltic Kilty' and 'Kinda Kinky', who were forced to work together as entertainers, including on "The Black and White Minstrel Show".